3 minggu di 2010

read it or not. i advise dont. it's too long and too boring....i'm serious.

2010 baru berlalu selama 2 minggu, dan berbagai masalah telah berlaku.
dugaan
tapi yg peliknya, masalah orang lebih banyak dari masalah lain.

masalah di antara roomates yg paling banyak. adakah saya termasuk? entahlah...

natalia bukanya org yg banyak fikir. lebih suka biarkan masalah dilupakan atau berharap masa akan menyembuhkan semua walaupun masa hanya akan membiarkan perkara tersebut dipendam jauh dalam hati mengakibatkan semua terbabit kekok...

memang natalia bukan insan sempurna...pernah bergaduh secara besar-besaran dengan seseorng yg natalia boleh fikir amat rapat dan kini? setiap kali memandang mukanya, terasa jauh sekali. tidak terkeluar apa yg ingin dikatakan. tidak seperti dahulu.

sedih juga rasanya, terkenangkan waktu dahulu yg rapat. bergelak ketawa, kutuk mengutuk watak di televisyen, berkongsi info2 terkini mengenai minat yg sama, dan kini, bukan malas utk mengetahui, cuma segan, dan malu dan rasa ego di dalam diri cukup tebal untuk meminta maaf. lebih-lebih lagi, ungkapan maaf itu patut dikeluarkan hampir 2 tahun dahulu. adakah perkataan maaf itu masih berfungsi atau sekadar ayat yg dibisikkan angin, tiada maksud, tiada makna, tiada perasaan.

wah, x ku sangka, berbunga jugak ayat natalia ni bila menaip...tengok mood lah kan katakan.

bersambung dengan 2010, minggu satu, dugaan pertama pabila ku mengetahui bahawa ku terpaksa berpindah kelas. memang tidak adil ku rasakan. ku cukup tidak puas hati. tapi bukan salah sesiapa. mungkin memang takdir. natalia rasa bersalah kepada ketua kelas sem nie. daus, natalia minta maaf. mujurlah rancangan itu batal. terima kasih kepada semua.

selepas itu, minggu kedua dimulakan dengan adengan pintu bilik terkunci. maaf aini, natalia lupa bagitahu kunci bilik natalia tinggal atas meja aini. mujurlah ada hasni, jannah, kak me n her friends who tried to help us. n thank god our RS in charge is very understanding that Sunday. hehehe. sorry aini.
sunday. in that 2nd week, ada 2 kawan ni terasa hati ngan roomates masing2. mujurlah satu dah lepas, satu lagi, masih bingun semua memikirkan. bukan niat kami ingin memulaukan, tapi sesungguhnya, kami tidak mengetahui apa yg patuut dilakukan.
bagi natalia, ingin berkata, memberi nasihat, diriku ini, bukannya sempurna, tidak layak. tapi marilah semua bermuhasabah, mengapa semua orng bertindak sedemikian kepada kita. there must be something that we did that they dont like. 2 semester as roomates, i started to think whether it's a bad idea or not since everyone seems to be upsets and sensitive already.

manusia mmg byk perangai.

assignments...
fuuuh, ada 5 assignments in the first week. pharmaco need to be sent on the 3rd week, exs. physiology poster sent on 22 january till 1st feb. suddenly, on friday, 15th, we just found out that the poster need to be sent next monday. arghhhh, so frustratingly frustrating. i already made plans to go home that weekend since mom, dad and amer came. and look? my group stayed up till 4.30 am just to finished up that poster which we found out the sme day the reason why the due date were taken forward. some other group has finished it way too early and our lecturer decided that everyone should sent it too. argh, the frustrations. especially when we took the poster for her to comments on saturday and she told us to show her again that poster on monday and we can sent it to her on thursday....oh well, anyway, i managed to return home, although no one is home anymore. but i got excited about the prospect of us goingt to seremban for a project. limited to 40. next saturday. happily i borrowed kak me camera and what did i found out today?

i found out that those who going are by their own transport. meaning only those who has transportation can go so? i cant go because i dont have a ride.
and today can be quite a hellish day, though i think its not that bad.... my thoughts.

poster finished for final editing and brought to show to her and her only comment, good, ok. make sure people can read it. not too small. less than 5 minutes...oh well.
other thing that i'm a bit upset is about HBU BPC internal conflicts...i really hope that all of our planned projects still can go on. and our BSMM is taking a good turn. other sad things is that, since i cant go to seremban this saturday, i really want to go home. what? i happened to like being at home. who didnt? but on saturday, there's HBU BPC's 1st class, and for sure, i need to go, with aini nonetheless. and i really dont think i want to repeat last weekend. and tomorrow is a bit upsetting. everyone wants to go to shah alam to print poster tomorrow evening since our class only till noon. and since i have class starts at 10.30 am on wednesday, i thought that maybe i can go home. but...even without i have that thought o going home, tuesday night is my taekwando class, but suddenly, i'm going to have a meeting of BSMM...so, being a wonderful and understanding companion, i pasrah...redho...and decided to stays at college and went to the meeting. but i told aini already that i dont want to go to shah alam. since if i went there, i'm going home. and i also decided that maybe i should started and finished up what i can do on our pharmaco assignment tonight...which later shows futile efforts since i cant get into ovid and read the pdfs...huh...what a day...

since i almost have a free night, alone in my room since aini have meetings, i decided to update my blog. how cool was that?
...

blablablabla

enough with blabbering. i really shoud starts thinking positively again, or starts thinking nothing since the more i think, the more frustated i've been more....

but anyway, there was things good that happened today...i've met long jst now, eventhough for only less than a minute,just to take the mineral water 2 boxes, i feel happy already. tq long.i'm drinking a bottle now.

and also thank you to my friends, mira, aini, wani, wawa, aisah, ayu and everyone who help me directly or indirectly. sorry for all of my mistakes today. i admit, i'm not in my best behaviour today...sorry aini. i think i really need to be more sensitive and starts acting on it, instead of ignoring it.

what a boring and long post....anyway, you can just skip it. nothing important...